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Focus on the positive instead of focusing on the negative It's impossible to make a positive impression and meaningful influence when you're recalling negative emotions and constantly bringing up bad memories.

And it's self-defeating (and stupid) to be trying to get your ex back while at the same time you are blaming, criticizing, lecturing and even arguing with him or her.

They might well surprise you --better to be pleasantly surprised than disappointed and devastated because you acted out of neediness and desperation.5.

You'll find it much easier and you are more likely to get a more positive outcome if you give up the idea of trying to fix an old relationship and instead try to create a new and better one.6.

Use each and every contact as an opportunity to make an emotional connection Really take the time to focus your attention fully on your ex as a unique individual, even if it's just for a brief period of time.

When you are confident and self-assured, you're able to be assertive with people without being needy, pushy or aggressive.3.

Take responsibility for your part in the break-up and learn from your mistakes Whether you admit it or not you contributed to the problems in the relationship in some small or large way, so own up and accept your mistakes for what they are: precious life lessons that can only be learned the hard way.

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