Carry on dating
I have no issue with messaging first, even on non-Bumble apps, and I don’t even mind leading the conversation to an extent.I feel like if you want something (or someone) go for it — life is short, and we spend too much time overthinking our interactions on apps.A few month ago I wrote a “how to ask a woman out from a dating app” guide for men, but lately I have realized that people need even more basic instructions than that.They need to know simple tips for having a normal conversation.Exhibit A: In this instance, the guy I matched with had kind of a vague bio compared to what I am normally interested in, but at least he wrote SOMETHING, and his photos were alright so I gave him a shot ……I HATE this “just ask” mentality.You should be able to write a sentence or two about yourself in a bio, but if you choose not to, you better be prepared to lead the conversation because you aren’t giving me anything to go off of.This was during the few days of iphone hell, when the “I” was changing, but the message originally said “Ethiopia I guess.” How easy would it have been to just put a “What is your favorite place? ”I borrowed another screenshot from a friend that was almost the exact same scenario: How hard would it have been to add “Where are you thinking of vacationing? Sometimes, a conversation does just run its natural course.
Exhibit B: A very common thing I notice is that men love to complain that women send boring openers on bumble (which is fair, women frequently complain about the boring openers that men send on every other app).
And to be fair, my male friends say women are just as bad, if not worse, and I don’t doubt that for a second.
But, I date men, so my experience is only with men; however, I think a lot of what I am saying can be applied to any gender.
But, for the most part, I consider myself someone who can talk about a variety of subjects, with a variety of people.
I never realized how much “like attracts like” in that I am often surrounded by people who are similarly skilled at conversing.