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It took me a couple of months to learn to ignore all messages or attention from men.Eventually, it clicked that I didn’t have to respond.He knew sex was off the table and was respectful of this.

I used sex in the same way I used drugs and alcohol – to distract from my feelings of loneliness and inadequacy.

You can’t ask really someone after the first date to be exclusive, so then there is the insecurity that if they start seeing someone else who will take the intimacy to the next level, you have missed out because their relationship will probably progress further.

You have to be willing to take that risk and hope that the right person will wait (and hopefully also fill you in on their genital breakouts).

It didn’t make me rude, I was merely treading my own path and removing unwanted attention. I broke my celibacy with a man who I had previously had a sexual relationship with.

After reconnecting, we spent several months as friends, talking openly and building a solid foundation of intimacy.

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