Dating with a mastectomy
She had no way to find help as a single woman looking for a relationship, wanting to know when and how to tell about her mastectomy and her disease.
She wrote the book , a personal account of how she coped with these problems (unfortunately out of print, but worth tracking down in a library or a used book store).
Renee told Burt about her cancer history on their first date, including the fact that it was unlikely she could have children. "I worked through my fears with him — and they disappeared from my head when we had sex.
Sexy lingerie helped me feel confident and attractive," she says. You don't have to wear a sign that says "I've had breast cancer," and you don't have to bring it up until you are ready and feel you have some stake in a relationship.
Gradually she got to a point where she was able to wait till the third or fourth meeting and discuss it without upsetting herself or her companion.
And she learned to protect herself during the initial phase of a sexual encounter by wearing a silky cover-up, gradually working up to full exposure.
If a guy has a sense of humor, I don’t hesitate to bring up the tummy tuck possibility.
Each time she met someone new, Linda had to struggle with when and how to tell, and then how to behave in intimate situations.
In the beginning, she would blurt out her history almost immediately, frightening herself and her date.
I’m not encouraging you to avoid it and I’m certainly not asking you to lie, but there are some details you can share, and there are some that you might consider keeping between yourself, your family and your doctors.
If a guy wants to know about my BRCA mutation, I give him a quick overview of how I came to be tested for the mutation.