Trouble dating after divorce
Reply I guess this is less of a comment and more of a question for advice. I have been seperated now for almost 6 months, although I have been both emotionally and physically removed from my marriage for almost a decade. I sat across from a woman who turned my dormant heart and soul flowing again and I simply can't explain in words the feeling - it was something I almost didn't recognize having been so long.I was..one of those guys who simply did not want to date. I had no idea she was divorced - she had no idea that I was getting a divorce. But we were never both "available" for either of us to act on our feelings. I guess in a way, we are going to take things slow but i really don't want to mess things up.I can’t tell you the number of guys I talk to who when asked why they got divorced roll their eyes and then just start complaining about what a huge bit** their ex is. Jason is right that you need a “story.” Not a lie, just a polite couple of sentences that basically let people know you are moving on, that you aren’t playing the victim.I also want to comment on #4, “Take it slow,” because I think Jason is dead on with this one.“This wildly varies from person to person,” says Judith Sills, Ph D, a Philadelphia-based psychologist and author of Getting Naked Again: Dating, Romance, Sex, and Love When You've Been Divorced, Widowed, Dumped, or Distracted.“Everyone ends a relationship by grieving the emotional investment.Learn more: Divorced Guy Grinning is a blog for men facing divorce and dating after divorce.
Regarding #1, “Develop your divorce story,” I think it is very very important. AND, if you keep telling people all the details, YOU won’t heal, either.By the time most men divorce they have felt beaten up by their spouse, their kids, and the court process. Their views on love and relationships may be shattered.To combat this, most men would be best served creating a narrative that puts a positive spin on things.For some people, that happens before they move out.Others are still emotionally married after the divorce is final.” Dena Roché started dating while waiting for her divorce papers to come through.